Things on the XIIIth: August & September 2019

Welcome to my monthly progress post that happens on the 13th (unless I miss a month… twice in a row… oops), which marks the start of a new fiscal month here on Livid Lightning. Get it? XIII is my favourite number… because I like Final Fantasy XIII a lot? Jeez… tough crowd.

Hello, my treasured internet readers and valued view-generating spam-bots!

I’ve been a mess again, as usual, and think I’ve recovered from my latest emotional meltdown. That life thing is crazy, man. I’ll babble about some things that have been bugging me in my “Life & Other Things” section, if you are at all interested in reading me whine about stuff.

Simpsons Internet Coping Meme
I’m not sure if memes and social media are the greatest of coping mechanisms, but they are making me slightly feel less sad and alone right now.

I consider 13 my lucky number. So it being Friday the 13th with a full moon makes it an extra special day for me. Here’s to hoping the universe sends those good vibes to anyone who needs them!


Blogging Things

WordPress Achievement Unlocked:

4 Years on WordPress

Wow… I’ve been babbling on the WordPress side of the internet for 4 whole years now. It’s been a crazy ride, to say the least. I’ve got a deleted former blog under my belt, and lots of figuring out my miserable mental health drama happened here. Above all else, I’m grateful for all the cool people I’ve met, the near-infinite support, and the special connections I’ve formed over the years.

This will always be a place for me to vent, write stuff, and share my love of things with whomever in the world wants to stumble into my domain. Thank you for all the likes, comments, actual views, and spam-bot gatherings! From the bottom of my heart, everyone in this community means the world to me.

Blog Stats
Total Views: 12,017 (+1,485)
Total Likes: 2851 (+328)
WordPress Followers: 237 (+22)

New Things Written Here

New Things Written Elsewhere

Nothin’

XIII Great Posts From Other Bloggers

I) Tankfest 2019 by Winst0lf Portal – It’s on my bucket list to drive a tank since I never got a chance to do so in my time with the Canadian Forces Army Reserves. I’ve enjoyed stealing them in many a Grand Theft Auto game, though!

II) Why My Cat is More Impressive Than Your Baby – Comic Review by Cupcakes and Machetes – As a sarcastic someone who is currently childless (and probably forever), but the proud owner of two su-purr supportive cats, I’d say this is a must read for me!

III) Stone Art by The Things I’ve Seen – One of my IRL BFFs is into painting rocks and all sorts of other creative things. It was cool to see this post about the solid art!

IV) Bad Video Game Voice Acting by Professional Moron – HA HA HA HA HA! (You read that in Tidus’ awful voice, I presume, eh? Sorry for any triggers.)

V) Why Play Games? by The Gaming Diaries – A great post that highlights the good things about gaming. Your enjoyment is never a waste of time.

VI) Knights and Bikes Review by Frostilyte – The title of this game alone had me intrigued, but the excellent review is also worthy of attention.

VII) The Broken Rose: Chapter 17 – Gilding the Lily by The Shameful Narcissist – Gah! I’m falling behind on TSN’s epic fanfic, but here’s where I need to resume whenever my mind can concentrate again.

VIII) The Guide on Being a Mature, Distinguished Gamer: Part 1 – Priorities by Games With Coffee – More people need to learn how to be mature and distinguished, not just on the gaming front either. I learned a lot from this blogger’s 4 volume guide.

IX) Coloring Pixels: clicking calm by Later Levels – Everything will be okay… everything will be okay…. Some days my anxiety just won’t listen to my logic. This game seems like a nice distraction from internal chaos.

X) Boldly Go Where No Video Game Has Gone Before by Video Games Nebula – This creative genius blogger always asks the most interesting questions and comes up with the most amusing video game related creative stories!

XI) Blogger Blitz: Shipping Wars Semifinals – Hotel Hijinks (Tyrande Whisperwind vs. Morgana) by Adventure Rules – I was knocked out of this year’s Blogger Blitz competition by my own mental health, but I’m glad to see my would-be opponent making waves! Both bloggers did a great job in this semifinal match. The real winner will always be Ian for those epic drawings.

XII) [GAME REVIEW] Pokémon Black and White by Extra Life Reviews – Few people on the internet can write an in-depth analysis of games like this blogger! I always enjoy and learn a lot from any Extra Life review I catch. I fell off the Pokemon train after the first 250-ish so it was nice to see what Black and White had to offer.

XIII) You Have Earned a Trophy: Not Being a Jerk About It by AmbiGaming – I do love me some Platinum trophies… I’m not a jerk about it, though, right? Right?? Seriously. Don’t be a jerk about gaming achievements. There is so much more to deal with in the world.


Gaming Things

Games Completed in 2019: 9 (+0)

Games Newly Finished

Nothin’

Games Actively Played

Mass Effect 2

Mass Effect 2
Space Dick is looking quite the picture of pure evil….

I’m happy to report I got through the Horizon mission on Insanity…. during a hurricane… and while my parents were watching since they took shelter from the storm at my place in the city! It was actually adorable to hear my mom ask “What game is that??” and then me explain how Mass Effect is kinda like a space soap opera where you shoot stuff. They haven’t watched me play video games since I was a kid. D’aww. When the power started flickering, I called it quits to avoid a corrupted save file. Yikes! My Platinum quest is currently on hold while I indulge in my new gaming obsession…

GreedFall

GreedFall
Vasco…. ❤

If all goes well, I’ll have an official first impressions post up this weekend. If not, here’s my quick bullet list of why I love this game so far:

  • I can cosplay the MC as my shero.
  • The fancy hats are so freaking fashionable.
  • The companion character Vasco has already stolen my demiromantic heart (dude with the face tattoos in my screenshot above).
  • The setting is intriguing and I see a lot of potential in the story.
  • The combat is like Assassin’s Creed mixed with Dragon Age’s ability to freeze the battle.
  • I’m playing on easy and will likely not go for the Platinum trophy. Just not feeling the urge so far with this game.

Collecting Things

Isabella and Pichu Amiibo

Pichu and Isabella

I honestly can’t remember if I posted about these yet, so here they are! Pichu is adorable and very electric. The last thing I need is another version of Isabella, but hey, I’m all in at this point.

Egypt Souvenirs

Egypt Souviners

My coworker recently took a few weeks off to visit his family in Africa. I was super happy when he surprised me with these souvenirs from his trip! One day I hope to see the Great Pyramids for myself.


Reading Things

Books Read in 2019: 12 (+2)

Newly Read

A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin

A Storm of Swords

A Feast for Crows by George R.R. Martin

A Feast for Crows

Now Reading

A Dance With Dragons  by George R.R. Martin

A Dance With Dragons

Chugging along with the famous A Song of Ice and Fire series, eh! I’m still at a loss for good words on how I feel about the books. There is so much darkness and graphic sex acts, but the overall world design has me quite intrigued. I’m loving how the female characters are becoming more powerful, and less used as an outlet for male characters to release their “manhood”. Ahem.

The evil devious people always win, and the good honest guys always lose. The survival of the fittest law at its most dramatic.


Watching Things

Movies Watched in 2019: 3 (+0)

Newly Watched

Nothin’

TV Shows Watched in 2019: 1 (+0)

Newly Watched

Nothin’


Life & Other Things

Here’s the depressing trinity of sad life things that made me meltdown last Friday at work. Yeah. I hit my feels coping limit… hard. A good buddy at work gave me a hug and a pep talk that helped immensely. We are the only people we will have for the rest of our lives. Might as well enjoy being us while we can, eh?

Hurricane Dorian

My coastal province of Canada got slammed by a Category 2 Hurricane named Dorian last weekend. That was incredibly scary and knocked out my power for 47 hours. I used the time to overthink and take a few road trips to charge my phone and Switch. I’m glad my power is back.

I was also happy my parents left their middle of nowhere estate and stayed at my place during the storm. The company was most welcome and I didn’t have to worry about them. Ironically, they got their power back before I did… huh. Here are the videos I took from my apartment window.

Yes. This was terrifying and destroyed a lot of trees (and a construction crane we are calling the Hurri-crane), but Nova Scotia’s experience is NOTHING compared to what Dorian did in the Bahamas at full strength. My thoughts are with all the people who lost someone to the storm.

Health Anxiety

I had a follow up MRI to check on my brain lesions a few weeks back. No word from my neurologist thus far. No news is good news, right? I’m struggling with depression and anxiety at the moment as well. I hope that’s the root cause of random vertigo spells that have been coming and going lately. Thank goodness for GreedFall to distract me from all this!

The Importance of Friendship

The thing that is bugging me the most currently is a situation that very much sucks between me and one of my treasured BFFs. I’ve been all but completely door-slammed from this person’s life (and rightfully so… I understand).

The lack of closure (and feeling like I don’t exist to them) is wreaking havoc on my anxiety. This person is very important to me and they feel like immediate family. I’ve confided a lot to them in the past, they’ve been beyond supportive of everything I’ve been going through, and that missing connection is hurting me more than I realized. They’re also going through a lot in their own life and I wish I could do something to help them.

Friends are important. You hear a lot about breakups in romantic partnerships (I’ve heard many a psycho ex story from several friends, let me tell you), but you don’t hear about how devastating the loss of a close friendship can be. I’ve never had one of those romantic relationship thingys so friends will always be the top humans in my social circle. I can’t change what happens, or say anything that will help the situation. I can only respect the final outcome when Schrodinger’s Friendship Future box is opened. That was lame and I am sorry. Ahem. Powerlessness sucks a lot.

So, if that person happens to stumble upon this blog post (if they even read my blog), I just want them to know I will respect whatever they decide. I’ll continue to support them as best I can while giving them the space they requested. I pray they will give me closure, for better or worse, whenever they have fully thought things out. If they’re no longer a part of my story, I wish them a wonderful and amazing future on this planet. I am truly sorry for my part in everything that has happened to destroy this close connection.

And, thank you for helping me through the latest chapter of my life. I would have never gotten through it without your support, my friend. I hope I helped you through some of your story as well.


There you have it! My monthly progress post thingy. What’s anyone reading this up to these days? Comments section is down below if you want to share your thoughts on things!

Thanks for reading!

If for some odd reason you want to read more of my posts, you can find a somewhat organized (and usually up to date) archive of my ramblings… I mean, articles here!


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Published by

"Lightning" Ellen

My name is Ellen, and I've been babbling on the interwebz about video games for over 15 years. Video games themselves have been a large part of my life since 5-year-old me first encountered a SNES in a children's hospital. Fun times... Video game escapism is still the #1 coping mechanism for adult me these days.

53 thoughts on “Things on the XIIIth: August & September 2019”

    1. Nope! I dropped off the Pokemon train after Gold and Silver. You make a strong case for trying out one of these games…. I need more gaming time though, haha

      Like

  1. GreedFall definitely looks interesting it’s on my enormous list of games to buy oh what I’d give for infinite money 😅, hope things work out between you and your friend or at least you get some closure that’s a rough situation for the both of you I’m sure

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Games should be free… they are a necessity, like water 😛 Infinite money would sure make life better and misery easier to handle.

      Thank you! I hope it works out too. I can only imagine how hard this situation is on them and I don’t want to push anything, but sitting idle is hard on me. Be calm, Ellen!

      I’m definitely appreciating the great friends I still have, like you dude 🙂

      Like

      1. I actually can’t stand the taste of water (aren’t I a quirky interesting person not 😝🤣)

        I’m glad to have you as friend too, if you ever need to talk anytime of the day about anything feel free to hit me up (not literally though with that military training of yours you’d probably kill me 😂) but seriously I’m always available if you need to vent

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well, lucky almost every drink has water in it that you can’t taste, haha. You are definitely an awesome human 🙂

          No worries! I only Snow Punch my enemies, haha. Thank you, dude! I’m always here for you too if you ever need to vent about stuff. Life is quite frustrating for everyone, I think. We got this!

          Like

  2. I gotta start doing these lmao but I keep forgetting. Yeah, I just picked up Greedfall and Borderlands 3 hence why there was so few stuff going up this week but man, Borderlands 3 is awesome. Really enjoying my time on there.

    In other things, I hope things work out between you and your friend. I went through a similar thing with my friend and I know how you feel, it’s awful. It’s like going through a breakup in many ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s lots of time for doing stuff! GreedFall is great, for sure, haha.

      Thank you. I’m sorry you had a similar friendship situation. I’m honestly not sure what to do anymore. Waiting patiently for something potentially devastating that is beyond my control has never been a strong point with me. I just have to be patient and hope for the best, while appreciating the cool friends I still definitely have in my life 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yay! My favorite time of the month 🙂 Congrats on your milestone too. I think I might be nearing four years of blogging too. It has been a great ride! I really like your new acquisitions both from Egypt and the Amiibo!

    I’m sorry to hear about problems in real life too. I’ve been having some difficult times at work so I can certainly relate and in my experience, friendships become harder and harder to maintain or hang onto as you get older. Many people prioritize relationships and later, marriage, and children over any friendships they have and once you get a full-time job plus any combination of those other obligations, there isn’t a lot of free time left. I have seen many a friend fade away to where I mostly have my family and my fiancee in my life and that is it. It was painful at times to see people leave me for various reasons and all I can say is to hang on to the great friends you have and try not to let other people who are too busy or do not value you as a friend bother you too much. It doesn’t devalue the great person that you are or make your life any less valuable or worthwhile. It took me a long time to realize that for myself so I don’t say any of this lightly but I do hope it helps and I’d be willing to bet some of your online friends like myself aren’t going anywhere 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw! Thank you for being a loyal reader of this blog feature, haha. 🙂

      Thanks for the supportive words, as well. Very true words. I just have to let things be and hope for the best, eh. I’m glad I have awesome online friends like you! Good luck with everything on your side of the internet, haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome and it is my pleasure! I hope it all resolves in your favor and thank you for visiting my website still as well. I know it is not a shared hobby like Amiibo so I’m impressed you still stop by from time-to-time 😀

        Also, on an unrelated note, I just beat Dragon Age: Inquisition and it was surprising how good that game is. Very addictive and fun in spite of a decent/average story. There were times where I thought, am I having as much fun as if I was playing Witcher 3? which really shocked me! I’m glad I had heard good things about it from you and gave it a shot!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Woot! I’m a little behind on my blog reading (read: A LOT behind, haha) but I get email notifications for your site so I’ll catch up when I can 🙂

          Yass!! I’m glad you enjoyed Inquisition. It does have a lot of Witcher 3 vibes, for sure. Happy gaming!

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I get behind during the work week pretty often but whenever my email inbox count gets high, I know it is time to get on here and catch up haha! It really is great and one thing I’ve learned over the years is that you have a great eye for good games. If you say it is good, then I believe it! Thank you and I hope you’re enjoying the games you’re working on too 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

    1. There is a Drive-A-Tank place in the USA I wanna try out. It costs extra, but can even run over a car! When I’m a millionaire we’ll go there, my treat, haha.

      Like

  4. Perhaps you already have, but if you haven’t, you should send that apology directly to said friend. Sure it’s scary, but then you’ve done everything you can to help mend the situation and that apology was really beautiful. I’ve had friendships end more because their apology was awful than anything they did. They followed it up with ‘but’ and an apology with a but is never a real apology.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the advice! I’ve been honest and offered my sincere apologies for everything. The only thing I can do now is actions (which is respect the space request, I guess, haha). I hope it works out and we can be close friends again, but I think I’ve finally made peace with either outcome. Just gonna enjoy life as best I can.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The Pichu amiibo looks so cute.

    Tha is for linking to me. Honoured to be included by you and amongst these other posts.

    I’m sorry about your friendship breakup. They can be so hard when people fall out of your life and I’ve been there. It hurts. If you ever need to chat I’m a message away.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He’s adorable, haha.

      Thank you! I appreciate you being there with support and ditto for you if you ever need to vent to someone 🙂

      Like

  6. Those souvenirs definitely look cool! I haven’t traveled anywhere myself so the only way I get to experience the outside world is through that as well. A co-worker brought me back a picture post card from Russia which was cool. I’ve still got that by my desk. One day in the far future I aim to travel to some places, not often, but at least a few times

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Glad you were safe from the hurricane. As for MRI’s, here if it’s anything bad you know within a week, and anything minor arrives by letter 8+ weeks later. Hopefully the lack of news means all is fine 🙂
    Sorry to hear about your friend too. I was ghosted by one of my best high school friends a few years ago and it totally sucked. Never did find out why either so I’m left to speculate and blame myself. Hope you get closure.
    GreedFall look epic, adding to my list to check out 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I fear direct hits by stronger hurricanes will be the new norm for my area in the future, thanks to climate change 😦

      Our healthcare system is a little… awful with stuff like this. If you aren’t actively dying, you’re in for a long wait to see a doctor. Still hoping the no news is a good sign!

      Ouch…. being straight-up ghosted by a BFF sounds horrible. 😦 I do trust that the friend in my situation will contact me when they’ve made a final friendship decision. Ultimately, I just want closure since having things in the air sucks a lot. I still worry about this friend and hope they are doing well. For now, I swallow my anxiety, give them space to think, and hope for the best while moving on with my own story. 🙂

      Yass!! Lemme know what you think about GreedFall if you check it out.

      Thank you for the kind comment words!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a scary thought 😦 We’ve been getting stronger winds, but rarely hurricane strength. Wouldn’t be prepared at all if things changed!

        Our healthcare system’s okay, some departments (blood tests, the ear department) are more efficient than others. I was once waiting 3 hours past my appointment time in the eye clinic though! But yeah, no news is generally good news (although because I’m naturally a panicky person that didn’t reassure me when I was waiting to hear about any of my MRI’s.)

        It was, hopefully you get closure whatever they decide 🙂

        Will do, my birthday’s coming up and I’m hoping to get a couple of games!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I hope things eventually work out between you and your friend. ❤
    Glad you and your family were okay through the hurricane. 🙂 Also, that was so thoughtful of your coworker to bring you those souvenirs from Egypt. How cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I can certainly relate to the dissolution story. I won’t go deep into it. But I had a friend like that. For 15 years this person was someone I could vent to about anything at any time. And vice versa. One day, seemingly out of the blue they completely cut me out of their lives. Blocked me out of most forms of contact. It completely shattered me. I even considered severely injuring or ending myself. I said some things I shouldn’t have. At the last moment, I remembered/was reminded by God I had nieces who needed me. Relatives who needed me. I didn’t go through with it. I never told the other person that. But I felt I at the very least deserved an explanation. The one I got was mostly lies and hyperbole. But I had agreed that if they didn’t want me in their life anymore I would respect their wishes. I’ve never talked to them since. Have no idea how well or poorly they’re doing. All I can do is pray they’re well and hope that I was on some level a positive influence in their life.

    I hope they can forgive me for my part. But if they don’t it’s on them really. I do hope life got better for them and that they’re doing well for themselves. It’s all one can really do in situations like that. And the good that came out of it was that I was forced to get out of my comfort zone, try to talk to people, and make new friends. And thankfully, I was able to. In my private life as well as in online communities. I can only hope I don’t make the same kinds of mistakes, whatever they may have been again.

    But that process was very difficult. Especially in the first year. It was like a family member had died or disappeared. For the first couple of months, I even found it difficult to go to work. Anything we’d had in common would bring on the pain if it came up. A song we’d both liked. A show or film. But as hard as it may be, try to forgive. Not only the other person for hurting you but yourself. That’s always been something I’ve had trouble doing. But anyway I’ve begun rambling. I did find listening to a lot of relatable music and letting myself grieve got me through the grief stage. But do be careful not to stay there too long.

    That said, I’ll leave you with a classic that I listened to a lot in that process. Take care of you. “Like a perfect stranger, you came into my life. Then like a perfect Lone Ranger you rode away… rode away…..” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znmpFlKhgoI

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t even imagine how that would feel losing a friend of 15 years like that. This drama with my friend situation has brought me to some very low points so I can understand entirely. All I want is closure. I’ll keep thinking positively and hope for the best (for both of us).

      This has indeed forced me outside of my comfort zone as well. I have reconnected with a few close friends in reality, and have tried some new things. The online community has also been very supportive and I’m grateful for that. I gotta start thinking about me while they work on their issues, I guess. And music is the best!! I’ll listen to that.

      Thank you for sharing your story and for the advice! I appreciate it very much. You rock and you definitely didn’t deserve to lose your friend like that. All the best! Feel free to reach out to me in a DM if you ever need to talk about anything more. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah, so you got hit by Dorian! Sorry to hear that! I live in Florida and we watched that stupid storm for like a week and a half while it couldn’t make up its mind on where to go… they had it coming right through the state as a Category 4 storm, which would have really sucked, but luckily it turned away from us! I feel awful for those poor people in the Bahamas, though. Hopefully no more storms pop up this year!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep. 😦 It knocked a construction crane down on a building and that part of town is still on evacuation order. Some red tape about contractors not being able to get insurance to take it down safely, haha.

      I’m glad Florida dodged it and the season seems to be over. I can’t even imagine how much it sucked in the Bahamas. My thoughts are with them 😦

      Liked by 1 person

          1. OMG the hurri-crane… that is hilarious!!!

            I hate hurricanes too! And living in Florida I always dread the hurricane season because we’re surrounded by water on 3 sides of the state so they can come from almost anywhere! Plus people tend to get really freaked out and I’m at home like… well, at least I’ve got a bag of chips to eat lmao!!

            Liked by 1 person

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