Month of Mass Effect, Day 10: Bad Romance

I’m shamelessly stealing the Mass Effect Month article series created by the always awesome Athena over on AmbiGaming in 2017 (which was the Mass Effect 10th anniversary) and turning it into one of those 30 day challenge thingys! Definitely check out Athena Veta’s great content on AmbiGaming and consider supporting her Video Game Relevancy Crusade (TM) on Patreon, if ya got a few bucks to spare.

Please Note: Enjoy… but be warned that there will be unmarked SPOILERS for all of the Mass Effect games. Read at your own risk!

Today’s Mass Effect series question: Who is your least favorite character to romance?

As I mentioned in yesterday’s positive romance-y themed post, I’m not a huge fan of the romance options in the Mass Effect series. Again, that’s just my personal opinion as a demiromantic asexual, and I’m certainly not putting down the many people who love the sexy romance options. My motto is: You do you, just don’t do me.

I had a really bad experience with Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect 1 during this year’s Mass Effect 1 Platinum Trophy quest. Now I can slap him with the dubious award of least favourite character to romance. He is pretty much designed to be one of those perfect romance stories for female Shepard. I’m not overly fond of that arc in any medium.

I was apparently too nice to him during the game and was appalled to find him in my Shepard’s quarters before the final push on Ilos. For those unaware, the scene before Ilos is your sexy time “reward” after wooing any romance-able character in the game. To my dismay, there was no option to say “I don’t want to be your fucking girlfriend! Get the hell outta here before I get Liara to throw you out the airlock with her mind, dammit” but I was at least able to avoid a sexual encounter with him. Ugh.

Mass Effect Month 10 No means no.png
It’ll be the end of you before that ever happens, buddy.

To be fair to poor Kaidan’s character (who was only doing as he was programmed), there was an annoying personal experience fueling my intense displeasure toward his advances. A guy I had been becoming close friends with in reality (and who was well aware I was not interested in anything sexual with him since I explicitly told him several times I don’t like that stuff) decided to text me a sexual “joke” about us in the middle of the night. I forgave that since jokes are jokes, and I’m not a sensitive snowflake. After that, he acted like I was his girlfriend during an event we went to. He is a really nice person, and I know he wouldn’t do anything bad. It’s just…. I was not comfortable with idea of being around him anymore. I have to follow my gut instincts. #INFJDoorSlam

Andromeda has another bad romance for me, and a scene I can never unsee. My Platinum Trophy quest in that game required 3 entire romances over multiple playthroughs. Ellen Ryder had a great relationship with Jaal (yay, close bond with no sex!), and I tasked my male character, Snow Ryder, to woo Gil and Peebee. Gil’s romance arc was adorable and the sex scene wasn’t graphic. Peebee on the other hand… a super graphic unskippable high quality cutscene of her and Ryder going at it. My freaking eyes!! That was the last thing I needed to do for my Platinum Trophy, at least.

Mass Effect Month 10 No means no 2
What I won’t endure for PlayStation Trophies…. sigh.

Excuse me while I go throw up… (But if you enjoyed that scene power to you! Not judging your personal enjoyment at all, and I’m NOT a prude. Remember my motto: You do you, just don’t do me.)

Thanks for reading!

If for some odd reason you want to read more of my posts, you can find a somewhat organized (and usually up to date) archive of my ramblings… I mean, articles here!

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"Lightning" Ellen

My name is Ellen, and I've been babbling on the interwebz about video games for over 15 years. Video games themselves have been a large part of my life since 5-year-old me first encountered a SNES in a children's hospital. Fun times... Video game escapism is still the #1 coping mechanism for adult me these days.

4 thoughts on “Month of Mass Effect, Day 10: Bad Romance”

  1. At least with Kaiden you can blame it on HIS headaches.
    I am barely if even interested in the bedroom stuff most of the time anyway so I always go for a partner I connect with on a mental level.
    So in Mass effect that would have to be Tali’Zorah. Liara felt to “tainted” to me.. and Ashley I always ended up blowing up after I romanced her on male-shep. Weird because as Fem-Shep I always blew up Kaiden….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So…I actually like Kaiden, but I have never, ever achieved his romance arc throughout the whole trilogy. I can get through ME1 fine with him, but I’ve always inadvertently done something to screw up things with him in either ME2 or 3.

    Maybe, with hindsight being 20/20, he’s not so great after all, and the game is trying to tell me something! 😂😅

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw. Sorry things didn’t work out with him for the whole trilogy. You’ll get no judgement from me for liking who you like, eh! I’m pretty sure my negative IRL experience triggered me to hate Kaiden’s advances more than anything else, haha. 😅

      Liked by 1 person

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